Umm, where do I start, I wanna get laid so goddamn badly, I have not had sex since the day I was born 27 years ago, and while I can attribute believing cooties was an actual thing, me being naive and oblivious to my first 16 years, followed by nearly 5 years to me thinking sex was filthy and disgusting, I’m full of sexual desire and drive, but I live in a town where attractive single girls looking for sexual stimulation is few and far between, and I can’t afford to move to a better place.
I CAN afford to live in a worser place where rent is dirt cheap(The rent in this town is bronze cheap), so I’m stuck having to masturbate to porn which is in my honest opinion the saddest and most depressing way to kerb Sexual Desire, not to mention contrary to what I just stated, I hate porn and would go so far as to say porn should not have ever existed nor should continue to exist.
I mean if I’m being fair with myself, I’m no Hugh Hefner in the Sexually Desireable category or Brad Pitt in the looks category, and from my masturbation sessions, I’m wiped out after one round.
I know better than to want a woman purely for Sexual Enjoyment, I was raised to respect a womans right to her privacy and to treat women the same way I expect to be treated, and above all to never objectify a woman for any reason, and when not turned on, I hold these teachings in very high regard.
I feel like a bad person to desire only sexual enjoyment as opposed to something more long term fufilling, and objectifying women as an object for sexual pleasure, and I feel like if I somehow managed to score a One Night Stand, I would subconsiously be feeling guilty and awful knowing that I’m using a woman for the release of my own sexual desire, and after the One Night Stand be feeling even more awful that I had objectified a woman and used her like some tool.
I hate being Human, I hate Emotions, I hate feelings, I want to be more like Vulcans(Fictional Species from Star Trek, a species whom control and hide their emotions very well and live with logic and reasoning as their constant).
anonymousMiscellaneous May 11, 2020 at 6:29 pm10