A DISSERTATION ON EATING BOOGERS

I love eating boogers. I have been doing it as long as I can remember. Some people may think it's disgusting, perhaps akin to eating your own shit. It is not something I would admit publicly, but what the hell, it's no secret to me. I remember reading something in mom's nature book that picking one's nose was a sign of manganese deficiency or something, but I just like the taste and texture of them. Memories of my booger eating overcome me; I remember getting busted by the cutest girl in grade three, and the embarrassment of all my classmates poking fun at me. I remember the numerous times my mom would tell me to stop. Yet I still do it. Boogers come in all shapes and varieties. I don't much care for the real liquidy ones, as they are hard to eat and can often slop in the area between the nose and the upper lip. Hard, crunchy boogers are good, but sometimes they may be stuck too well to the inside of my nose, and pulling them off can cause a nosebleed. They also have a nasty habit of sticking to my teeth, something a future girlfriend may find unbecoming as she sticks her tongue in my mouth. My favorite boogers are the ones that are kind of squishy, yet firm enough to come off in a single chunk. I just pulled one out of my nose five minutes ago, and that momentous event inspired me to write this. There are also different types of boogers. There are the very tangy boogers, which can sometimes be very tasty. There are the sandy boogers, but these are no good, as they are gritty and don't have that prized pale yellow booger color. There are the bloody boogers, which occur after a nosebleed. These can often be the tastiest ones of them all, but the eating of them may induce another nosebleed. Maybe I should stop doing this someday; often I have thought about it. But time and again, I find my hand unconsciously sneaking up to my left or right nostril for a tasty snack. **** I know this is gross, but what the hell, it's me. I must conclude by saying once again, I LOVE BOOGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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anonymous Miscellaneous January 28, 2021 at 12:58 pm 2 1